As I sit here hearing the "I told you so's" that are forth-coming from my close friends, I can't help but feel helpless. Preaching about the rules of a relationship - those which I carefully constructed during my trials and errors - I realize I didn't ever follow them myself. "You are pathetic if you think you can love someone else if you don't love yourself" is one quote I remember from a highschool teacher of mine. Sometimes the only person who makes you love yourself is the same person who makes you hate yourself. Is it pathetic to put your happiness and self-esteem in someone else's hands? I think it's pathetic to hide because you are afraid of the pain that may come from failure. When we learned to ride a bike, did we think "If I fall off then my biking career is over"? No. We knew we would fall. Consequently, practice made perfect and we took off our training wheels. You are foolish to think that you'll ride the Tour De Rock your first relationship, but does that mean the practice isn't worth it? I want to keep practicing. iNeed a girlfriend. Yes, "need", not "want".
